Grease starring Rebel Wilson and Nicolas Cage

Welcome back to another edition of What If? A Series of Absurd Casting, a blog where I make the most absurd alternate casting choices for fairly popular films. Why settle for the original when you can ask “what if?” and add your spin on a film?

In this week’s edition, we’ll be recasting the 1978 musical/romantic comedy Grease. The American classic is one of the most loved musicals of all time. Considering the amount of time I have and lack of funding, I’ll only be able to provide absurd casting choices for the male and female leads. But I refuse to let that limit my creative freedom for this fabulous alternate casting!

Grease starts during the summer of 1958. A young greaser Danny Zuko (John Travolta) and a shy reserved girl Sandy Olsson (Olivia Newton-John) meet and fall madly in love at the beach. Unfortunately, their romance is cut short once summer ends and Sandy returns to Australia. They say and emotional farewell hoping that someday they will meet again.Then it transitions to the first day of school at Rydell High School. Danny is a senior at Rydell and is a part of the group called the T-Birds with his friends Kenickie, Sonny, Putzie, and Doody. Them along with the popular girl clique called The Pink Ladies rule Rydell. 

But just when all seems ordinary, Sandy shows up and is enrolled at Rydell after her parents chose to stay in the U.S. She is immediately taken under the wing of wannabe beautician Frenchie who just so happens to be one of the Pink Ladies. Completely unaware they now attend the same school, Danny and Sandy narrate their romantic summer together in a song called “Summer Nights”. It isn’t until after the infamous song that Sandy reveals Danny’s identity.

During the first pep rally the Pink Lady’s take Sandy to reunite with Danny. Unfortunately, Sandy realizes a new side of Danny she never saw which was the tough guy façade he put on in front of his friends to maintain his reputation. Infuriated, Sandy storms off thoroughly disappointed because she knows that was not that boy she fell madly in love with that summer.

After treating her terribly in front of all of their friends, will Danny ever be able to win Sandy back or has she moved on? Will Danny need to become the sensitive guy to get her attention? Or will Sandy need to become a tough badass chick to win back his heart? Who knows? The rest of the film follows Danny and Sandy’s journey throughout their senior year to rekindle the love they once shared.

Even after almost 40 years from the initial release date, Grease is still thought of as the original high school musical that made everyone in America dance and sing their heads off. But what if Rebel Wilson and Nicolas Cage played Sandy and Danny in Grease?

Rebel Wilson

In my absurd alternate casted version of Grease, I believe Rebel Wilson would be the absolutely perfect Sandy Olsson. Not only is she blonde and Australian but she also has a singing background, kind of. Also she is the only actress that carries the good girl goes bad vibe. Plus opposite to the real American bad boy Nicolas Cage, the two couldn’t make a better pair. 

Nicolas Cage

In the past, Nicolas Cage stole the Declaration of Independence, but now he’s ready to steal Sandy Olsson’s heart. It doesn’t get more American than that ladies and gentleman. They truly are the ones that I want and they ones that we need oh yes indeed. I apologize I couldn’t help myself.

Without further ado, here are a few scenes from my re-imagined version of Grease starring Rebel Wilson and Nicolas Cage!

It’s the summer of 1958; overly patriotic greaser Danny Zuko (Nicolas Cage) and a shy Australian girl Sandy Olsson (Rebel Wilson) have fallen in love at the beach. Right before their summer comes to an end, Sandy begs her new American beau to never forget her and he urges her to ditch her parents and stay but its impossible. They kiss for what they think is the final time and say goodbye.

On the first day of school at Rydell High School Danny shows up bragging to his pals called the T-Birds about the hot chick he spent his summer with. But that same girl, Sandy, ends up attending Rydell because Danny told her to ditch her parents in Australia and stay. She wanders the halls hopelessly devoted to finding the perfect group of girls to talk to about her super hot American boyfriend. Sandy meets Rizzo in the girl’s restroom after accepting a cigarette she offered. (I know Sandy goes bad so much sooner but trust me it fits) Rizzo introduces Sandy to the group known as The Pink Ladies and immediately spills every detail of her summer with Danny in the song “Summer Nights But Actually Late Afternoons”.

When Danny and Sandy run into each other on campus for the first time they both stare at one other and unsure of how to act. Danny nonchalantly asks, “Oh hey there how’ve you been?” Sandy scoffs and responds, “Hello you big dumb American hunk of hotness what about asking me why I’m still in America. And attending your high school. And how I've become friends with your friends. Those are questions.” She points at Danny, and laughs while looking at the T-Birds. Danny whispers, “Sorry baby I got to look cool here.” Sandy says, “Oh no problem” and walks away. She shouts from a distance, “Hey birdies! Danny said he loves me so much how pathetic right?” On the outside Sandy seems just fine but on the inside she’s devastated he wouldn’t acknowledge their love, plus she’s a little bit hungry.

 

Fast forward to the senior carnival, Danny and Sandy have been trying to prove their love to one another but they can’t seem to reach a happy state. Overall, it’s been real messy and this carnival is about to become a Rupaul’s Drag Race lip sync for your life moment (if you don’t known that reference, look it up honey). Sandy shows up in head to toe leather and screaming each time she jumps because she’s chaffing literally everywhere. Danny pulls up in a tight black tee and leather pant combo. The two realize that all they needed to rekindle their romance was some leather, a few half smoked cigarettes, and all their friends to sing with them at a carnival. Now they will always be together!

Thanks again for checking in on this week’s edition of What If? A series of Absurd casting. I hope you find your Danny/Sandy real soon and hug and kiss ‘em until they promise they’ll never force you to sing in tight leather pants during the summer.